OK, before you start reading this you need to do the following things:
- Sit Down
- Take a deep relaxing breath
- Remain Calm
I actually went out tonight.
Let me repeat that: I actually went out tonight to a bar. Where there are people. In a public setting. It was noisy, my friends were there, STRANGERS were there, and I didn’t freak the fuck out and I only had one drink.
Now, I know this may sound trivial and mundane but this is a huge fucking accomplishment for me. I have been battling my anxiety & depression for almost a month now. I have missed birthdays, get-togethers, and a Superbowl Party all because of these and tonight I got up, got dressed, and went out on the town. It was a major victory and I am still feeling so good about it.
I think the best part was seeing my friends. Seeing their faces, talking to them, getting hugs and just getting some social interaction. I really needed it and I feel a lot better because of it. However, the introvert part of me will need tomorrow to kind of recharge, but that’s just “normal”. I know in a few days I will probably want to go out again and get my social fix.
Honestly, I am proud of myself and I just wanted to share my victory. I feel great, and I just had to get this feeling out and into this journal.
I am going to end this here before I start rambling.
Thanks for reading.