For Your Viewing Pleasure…

Now that I have Hulu and ditched the dish. I purused their documentary selection. I was delighted to find a film that I was chasing down for months, well chasing down to watch for free anyway, and I immediately watched it.


This film has to be one of the best films to watch if you are bipolar, the SO (significant other) of someone that is bipolar, or a friend of someone that is bipolar. It explores different people that all have different experiences with this disease and how they cope and treat their illness.

It opened my eyes to the fact that I am bipolar and that my experience with it is my own. I am not going to be like that guy, or that lady that also has it. I am not going to travel to England, go on a pub crawl & buy cars for 3-4 people (true story that was shared in a group I was in). I am not going to dress in drag and carry an ice pick in my purse and obsess over stabbing someone with it. I am going to be me. I am going to stay up for 3 -5 days, reflash my phone to make it work “better”, then do the same thing to my tablet, then reconfigure them to how I want them to look,  watch a film series on (insert interesting subject here), take an online calculus class from Ohio State, chain smoke, drink 2 pots of coffee, clean something, order some cool shit on Amazon, get into a bidding war over a vintage Gonk Droid action figure on eBay, and then maybe have a snack before starting my actual day. If I am depressed, I just want to lie on the couch, eat peanut M&Ms, and think about how shitty of a person that I am and how people would be better off not knowing me.

What really baffles me at times is that there are people that will get diagnosed, and not take meds. They will change their diet, and do Yoga and that works for them (but it’s a challenge for them and they end up back on meds) or they will just not take meds at all and go through the mania and the depression and “suck it up”.  I know I have to be on medication. I also know that the medication makes me boring, and feel like shit. By like shit, I mean that it takes away my “high” that I get when I am manic. I remember when I was unmedicated and everyday was a party.

Before I was diagnosed, I was in sales and I did exceptionally well at it. I was around other “alpha” types that always wanted to celebrate and party. So that’s what we did. Until I was fired for some bogus inventory shit, basically because one of the managers didn’t like me because I wasn’t a kiss ass. So, I went to another electronics company and became an assistant manager almost instantly. Again, around “alpha” types and I excelled. Mania gets you far in sales; however when you get depressed, people start to think you are loosing your edge and the “higher-ups” start to wonder if you will make it as a full-fledged manager. Pretty soon, I was getting passed up for promotions. That’s when I quit and got into IT.

Another movie that I would suggest to anyone that (again) is bipolar, the SO (significant other) of someone that is bipolar, or a friend of someone that is bipolar is:


This is the first movie I ever watched to understand what it meant to be bipolar. While it is a little antiquated, it still holds true to the subject. You see someone going through being diagnosed, and trying to understand that diagnosis. You also see other people, albeit celebrities, that are also bipolar share their stories and how they cope. When I saw that one of my heroes was bipolar, I cried. I also knew that if she could make it through it, then anyone could.

This movie started me on trying to understand what I had been handed, and gave me the comfort of knowing that I was now alone. I may have mentioned it in other posts, and I will probably mention it again. Simply because it is an amazing film to watch and to begin to grasp the diagnosis of being bipolar.

This film was one that I just stumbled upon and I am so glad that I did. It was made by a man that dreamed of being a filmmaker and his life was put on hold because of his mental illnesses. The thing that I was intrigued by this movie was that, unlike the other mental illness documentaries, it dealt with a person with multiple illnesses, like myself. The film is called:


OC87 follows  Bud Clayman as he finally gets to fulfill his dream of becoming a filmmaker and how his multiple illnesses affect his daily life. I really related to this film, simply because my multiple illnesses are starting to affect my life as they did his. My dreams are being put on hold while this whole disability thing is getting sorted out and even after that they may be left at the altar, or something that I have to come back to.  Again, if you or a loved one have a mental illness, watch this film with them. It may help you both understand things a little better.

Honestly, I would recommend watching all 3 of these movies if you want to see the entire spectrum of what bipolar disorder can do to a person. I would suggest watching Stephen Fry: The Secret Life of the Manic Depressive first, then Of Two Minds, and then OC87. To me that would be the order that would give you the best picture of what it is to see things from a newly diagnosed persons POV (Point Of View), to someone who has already been diagnosed and how they handle it, and then to see someone who has multiple illnesses and how they cope and handle things.

So, make some popcorn and have one “crazy” movie night and learn a few things about living with this illness.

But not Kettle Corn, that stuff is just confusing. It looks like popcorn, but tastes sweet. Seriously, that’s just wrong.

Of Two Minds – (Hulu, Amazon Video)

Stephen Fry: The Secret Life of the Manic Depressive (You Tube)

OC87  – (Netflix, Amazon Video)


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