Texas Our Texas.

*sigh*

I knew that this would come up.

With the “Brexit”, it has stirred up the whole “Texas seceding” talk again (Just search #Texit on Twitter). People thinking that Texas would be better on it’s own and that we don’t the Federal Government up in our shit, taking our tax money and giving it to those Damn Yankee Liberal Socialists States, yet fail to remember that Texas is the quickest state to cry out for Federal Aid when any disaster hits and bitches the loudest when we don’t get it, or don’t get it quickly enough.

The problem is that we can’t leave the U.S. legally; however there’s a multitude of people here that think we can. The popular theory meme is that we can legally leave the union and split into 5 separate states. This is false.

It’s time for a history lesson.

When Texas won its independence in 1836 it was in shambles. No infrastructure, no monetary system, no schools and no industry. It was all farmland and everything had to be imported from the US. Basically, Texas was broke as fuck; however because Texas originally expanded through parts of New Mexico, Colorado, Oklahoma, Kansas, and Wyoming:

Texas1836map

It blocked the U.S.’s  westward expansion, it was also an insertion point for any still ambitious European powers that wanted to come back into North America through the Gulf of Mexico. The main reason why Texas wasn’t quickly annexed in as a State is that the U.S. knew the moment that they did, it would start a war with Mexico. So, in 1844 the US Senate rejected an annexation treaty with Texas and then later in 1845 accepted it. In 1846 we had the Mexican-American War. Now, here is where that divide into 5 states thing comes in. When we were annexed in on 3/1/1845 we jacked up the Missouri Compromise because we would be adding another “slave state” (despite the fact that 90% of Texans were neither slaves nor slave owners) and our northern border crossed  the 36°30’N line of latitude which had been established as the demarcation point between free territory and slave territory by the Missouri Compromise. So, the powers that be came up with this:

New States of convenient size not exceeding four in number, in addition to said State of Texas and having sufficient population, may, hereafter by the consent of said State, be formed out of the territory thereof, which shall be entitled to admission under the provisions of the Federal Constitution; and such states as may be formed out of the territory lying south of thirty-six degrees thirty minutes north latitude, commonly known as the Missouri Compromise Line, shall be admitted into the Union, with or without slavery, as the people of each State, asking admission shall desire; and in such State or States as shall be formed out of said territory, north of said Missouri Compromise Line, slavery, or involuntary servitude (except for crime) shall be prohibited.

Basically, the states that would have been made above the line for the Missouri Compromise would have been “Free States” and the ones below it would have been “Slave States” because Texas was a lot bigger at the time; however we SOLD THAT EXTRA LAND in 1850 for $10 million dollars in the Compromise of 1850 and we used that money to pay off our debt to Mexico. Also, we kind of fucked off any real chance of dividing into any number of states when we ACTUALLY seceded from the US in 1861 and joined the Confederacy. We were then formally re-admitted to the United States after 1865 (1870 to be exact) when the 13th Amendment was passed and abolished slavery and informally made us a state again due to the Confederacy’s surrender. Article IV,Section 3 of the U.S. Constitution already says specifically that we cannot divide into multiple states:

New states may be admitted by the Congress into this union; but no new states shall be formed or erected within the jurisdiction of any other state; nor any state be formed by the junction of two or more states, or parts of states, without the consent of the legislatures of the states concerned as well as of the Congress.

When were re-admitted back into the US by Congress, there was no, repeat NO annexation treaty which reserves the right to secede from the Union without the consent of the U.S. Congress. Even before Texas formally rejoined the nation, the U.S. Supreme Court declared that secession was not legal, and thus, even during the rebellion, Texas continued to be a state. In the 1869 case Texas v. White, the Court held that individual states could not unilaterally secede from the Union and that the acts of the insurgent Texas Legislature — even if ratified by a majority of Texans — were “absolutely null.”

That’s the history of it.

Let’s get a little more current though.

“If there was any constitutional issue resolved by the Civil War, it is that there is no right to secede.”— Antonin Scalia, late Supreme Court Justice

So, while some Texans may want to secede and others may want to see us go, we simply legally cannot. The United States isn’t the EU. The EU is a group of countries that have agreed to be together and actually have protocols for leaving, where we are a group of states that make up a country and only have protocols for adding new states. It’s a different concept.

My advice to Texans that want to secede: Become an immigrant to another country and start a new life there. It’s like secession, only on a more personal level.

My advice to people that live outside of Texas that want to see us go: Come down here and head to Austin. Then go to Trudy’s and have a couple of Mexican Martinis, go hit up 6th street and just see the town. The next morning, head over to Juan in a Million and have a Don Juan. You’ll see that Texas can be an awesome place. (Just stay the fuck out of Houston).

So, we’ll keep seeing y’all. We ain’t goin’ nowhere.

 

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